A reflection on feminism, misandry, misogyny and the patriarchy.
(Trigger warning for rape and violence against women)
When I say I am a feminist
People say that I must hate men.
And to be honest, sometimes that’s true.
But I know I’m on the side of the angels
Because even though sometimes I hate men
And I’m terrified of each and every one of them
(Yes, even you)
I have never, will never wish upon them
The treatment women face at their hands.
I will never wish upon them
The fear that creeps up
When you walk down a dark street alone
I will never wish upon them
Being called a fat slut
For telling someone that they do not get to put their hands on you without your permission
I will never wish upon them
Wondering whether this email from a paramour
Is the unsolicited picture of their genitals
I will never wish upon them
Always having to question
Whether you’re good enough for the job, the promotion, the opportunity
I will never wish upon them
Having your integrity questioned
After being violated at the hands of another
I will never wish upon them
Being spat upon, or threatened with rape or death
For speaking out against injustice
I will never wish upon them
Death
For saying no to their advances.
I keep going back to this guy named Jesus
This guy with the radical idea that love would change the world.
I spent a lot of time learning about him once.
And look – I don’t know whether he died for my sins
Or so that I could go to heaven
Or whether I can only have a relationship with the divine through him.
I know I don’t like a lot of what the people who came after him had to say
And I struggle with what a lot of people do in his name today.
But I can’t stay away from this idea of love.
He grew up in a world that said ‘an eye for an eye’
A world of violence and chaos and rules of retribution
But said no – the only way to combat hate is with love.
If someone slaps you, offer them the other cheek
If someone takes your coat, offer them your shirt.
Love one another.
And even though it hurts my heart so hard it feels like it’s breaking
And even though the idea scares me so bad I quiver with fear
And even though the tears fall down my face with sorrow for all that has come before
I will never wish upon men fear
I will never wish upon men dehumanisation
I will never wish upon men blame for that done to them
I will never wish upon men victimisation
I will never wish upon men death.
I will meet their anger with compassion.
I will meet their dehumanising with education.
I will meet their blame with understanding.
I will meet their threats with patience.
I will meet their violence with integrity.
Because no matter what anyone says, I am on the side of angels
And with love
We will overcome.